Elin Stebbins Waldal, author of Tornado Warning

“I can no longer stay quiet in this world, I have a voice and I feel it reverberate off my internal walls, making its slow climb upward until its melody can be heard all around.”

--Elin Stebbins Waldal

 IN Video: Elin Stebbins Waldal discusses the reason she is Liz Claiborne's Love is Not Abuse state action coalition leader for California and  inspiration for her writing her teen dating violence memoir






I first learned about Elin's new book oh, maybe three weeks ago. It just came out February 1 of this year, just in time for Dating Violence Awareness month. And she says the book series Twilight is what triggered her. I read and loved the book series as well but I am now an adult, a young one albeit but not so much an impressionable teen and I enjoyed the books EVEN THOUGH THE TONE was one of obsessive love. Twilight is and will always be a great story but there were examples of stalking,  isolating, abandonment, love on condition, lying to cover up a boy's activity and even a kind of "do whatever I say or else" power and control.The Twilight series was praised up and down for its non sexual romance but nobody seemed to take into consideration that a boy being there when you wake up in the morning and standing waiting outside your front window
What about in the second book/movie when the wolf girl-- a human-- admits to having been scratched and now has a hideous scar on her face from her boyfriend turned wolf and she stays!!! What does that subliminally tell teens? That abuse is OK. A one time incident and OK.

NO!! Maybe in Stephenie Meyer's novels yes but in real life if a boy or girl hits (or scratched you) you run, it will happen again!! It will.

 Elin was apparently triggered by these stories and as a parent of pre-teens she was inspired to write her own story to demonstrate how obsessive love can become something much worse.

Elin's website is packed with resources for teens, parents, links to other organizations and even a readers guide for discussion afterwards.

Her Blog  talks about the "Frog in the Frying pan" analogy I've used before. A Johns Hopkins University study centuries ago revealed a frog that jumped into a pan of water stayed even as the temperature heated up, acclimating its body temperature each time until the water turned so high the frog was boiled to death. That's very much the psychology of abuse: we don't know its happening and eroding our self esteem and personal power until we are "in hot water" and at risk of it being too late to get out.

As Elin puts it, there is no abuse on the first date.


In fact, she invites others to talk about their experiences. Talking and bringing our issues out into the open is the  best way to work our problems out. As I learned from my own experiences, keeping my secret was the worst possible thing I could ever do!  Not talking about the problems in our lives especially the ones we are ashamed of or embarrassed about (and why? there is nothing to be embarrassed about that happened... nothing is your fault.) -- Remember, abuse thrives in silence! So, I encourage you to  SPEAK OUT so others can know they too are not alone.

Here is Elin's  Call to Action.